“THIS BREATH. THIS MOMENT.”
~ Hamid Martin
…How then shall we dance?
Shall I let them tell me how I can and cannot move my body? Shall I allow them to dictate how I should feel?.. And how much emotion is acceptable to express? How about my choice to hold, and be held by another? To breathe and breathe with another?
Beloved community, what I’m about to share feels vulnerable and I’m aware that there is a part of me that does not want to share at all – part of me that feels afraid and does not want to feel exposed and risk being ridiculed, shamed, or slandered. As a strategy to avoid the aforementioned, I thought it might be best to communicate in vague terms. I am not going to be vague. I am going to take a risk. I am choosing to let myself be seen. Some of my words may feel strong or intense. My intention is to be honest, loving, and respectful. Please know that I honor your experience of reading my words, whatever that is. I honor your feelings and I honor your breath.
If I’ve gained anything from my nearly 20 years of dance practice, it’s a solid awareness of the priceless value of my enlivened spirit, my willingness to trust the authentic expression of that spirit, and how those two elements are engaged in a continual duet; informing, influencing, and inspiring each other.
I’ve been struggling and feeling conflicted about how to move forward offering dance within the current cultural and societal climate. County health orders. Mask and social distancing mandates. Limited studio capacity. Inflated numbers. Lies. Fear. Infractions, if not attacks on our freedoms, humanity, sovereignty, and dignity. I will not lay down and allow my God given rights to be trampled. I am taking a stand. I am a Lover. And, I am a Warrior.
I was so excited for our dance studio to reopen. While I’m being honest, I have experienced a great deal of resistance and anxiety around choosing to participate and offer Inner Rhythm within a restricted structure dictated by a so-called county health order. Something about this has continued to feel out of alignment with my moral compass. And, because I have a deep desire for us to come together, co-create a container and energetic field, and to dance together, I decided to give it a go- even though I felt anxious. I have continued to feel anxious. For me, it feels as though choosing to participate within restrictions that I do not agree with, based on “information” that I do not trust, that I am actually endorsing, and thus complicit in a big fat lie.
How are you doing? What’s coming up for you? How’s your breath? I honor you. And I love you.
Sadly, it seems we live in a world- in a time when it is becoming increasingly challenging to determine the truth. Is this the information age or an age of misinformation? While I have spent much of the last eight months doing my best to educate myself on what’s going on and what’s not going on, I remain cautious of beliefs in general and careful to not allow any of my ideas or perspectives to become calcified in my being. The only truth I can actually declare is that I know nothing. And perhaps that I know no thing- the space of emptiness when I surrender and allow the Great Mystery of life to inform my being. An emptiness where ideas and perspectives are no longer relevant and from where our true nature dances forth.
All that being said, It does not feel appropriate for me to offer Inner Rhythm at The 418 Project at this time. And, I am unclear how to move forward with a weekly offering. I will practice being in pause, like the tremendously rich space between breaths, and move forward when I feel clear.
I am exploring alternative possibilities. And, I have been invited to teach a workshop and DJ at a micro festival gathering in Northern California next month… more details to come soon! Please do stay in touch with me here.
Love and respect all around,